Dating a separated
Yes it’s a ‘risk’ but it’s little more risk than in any other dating situation. Don’t assume that because you’re being pursued or that there’s certain future talk that it ‘must’ mean that they’re over their ex and ready for a relationship. don’t assume that because they’re separated or divorced that have a Ph D in commitment or that you’ll get the same. You remember what it’s like in those first few days, weeks and even months depending on how long the relationship went on for – you may still have been in touch, arguing, negotiating, or even hooking up. You can of course chance your arm but then you have to back away when it becomes clear that the ex files haven’t been closed. If you’ve already determined your boundary on this issue, don’t bust it, I know of quite a few people who were told to wait and come back when they’d had some more time/got divorced. Most people go through a breakup or few, and it’s not a ‘flaw’ to be separated or divorced hence there’s no reason to go Some relationships and marriages don’t work out.Now of course, a person who is avoiding their feelings will just find someone else to avoid them with but somebody who is genuinely interested in you and wants to start off on a good footing won’t mind respecting your wishes – at least they’ll know that they’re pursuing something with you because it’s they want to be with as opposed to seeking a distraction that’s going to backfire when they realise that they’re unavailable. Of course some people are separated or even divorced numerous times due to shady behaviour or due to a tad too much Fast Forwarding but that’s stuff you’ll find out through due diligence, possibly quite quickly if you have your feet on the ground and are listening and watching. I know of somebody who is getting married for the fifth time and is doing their best to hide it from their family including their own children – yeah, clearly they haven’t grown or learned a damn thing from their previous marriages. Don’t enter into an involvement with your emotional airbag inflated.Next day’s text “You are an amazing guy, but still being married is an issue for me”. I even skipped grad school class to go on the date.There are many possible reasons people have issues with dating someone who is separated—not officially divorced: They think the person could end up getting back with their ex, they think the person isn’t mentally ready, they think that dating someone who isn’t officially divorced is the same thing as dating a married man.A guy I was seeing who was separated—not divorced was still sleeping with his ex.(I found out years later, but it still hurt like hell.) That said, I still feel like dating someone who is separated is no worse than dating someone who is recently divorced or for that matter, divorced.
He is going to be officially divorced in September, so what is the difference in one month? He will turn out fine, and when his divorce is final, he will probably get more dates, which seems a little silly to me (that the women care so much) but it is what it is, right?
My divorce is amicable and I maintain a good relationship with my ex.